Nine Circles of Shell

Remembering A Friend

I lost a friend recently to cancer. I am not skilled at writing heartfelt things but I figured I should try to address it anyway.

I guess the great injustice of it all was that she wasn't very old, she was only 28. Or maybe it's how long she had to deal with it, and how severely it ruined her quality of life while she was dealing with it. Maybe it's actually that she was declared cancer-free at least twice before it came back even worse. Maybe it's actually that it spread to nearly every part of her body while it ran its course. Or that the last time I saw her she could barely string together a sentence or move because of the tumor pushing on her brain. Maybe it's that she incurred an insane amount of debt fighting it and now her widow and parents are on the hook for all of it. Or maybe the greatest injustice is that her parents lost their only child.

Lesley was a generous person. She was the one who hosted parties when we were in highschool. She set up a media server for her friends and family to use. She ran her own private imageboard for her friends. She hosted gaming servers for people she knew on her own persistent servers (not some rent-a-server service; the hardware was operated, maintained and upgraded all in her apartment).

Lesley was a bit of a jester. She was eager to make people crack up. People who knew her in highschool will not likely forget her distinctive honking laughter. She was a computer fanatic, a skilled musician and a Trekkie. She was an MVP member of our ill-fated amateur e-sports endeavor, the Frowning Narwhals.

Lesley undertook the socially difficult and dangerous act of coming out as trans. I only heard about a fraction of the hardship that ensued from dealing with the varied reactions of people in her life. Doing so was undeniably an act of bravery and deserving of admiration.

Lesley was a wife and an only child. I cannot even begin to understand the sorrow her family is going through right now.

I guess it's a cliche but it truly is not fair. The finality is oppressive... but I'm glad I had the chance to know her. Rest in peace, Lesley.